Breaking Out of Survival Mode

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Breaking Out of Survival Mode

 

I spent many years of my journey in foster care, stuck in survival mode. I was so busy focusing on getting through each and every day, maintaining my relationships, keeping up with my grades, and working that I didn't have much time for myself. Without spending time with myself, I couldn't focus on my goals, dreams, or aspirations. It wasn't until I broke the cycle of surviving and not thriving that I truly started to flourish.
In this blog post, I want to talk about what survival mode is and how to break the cycle of solely surviving by getting unstuck and flourishing in your everyday life.

Living in Survival Mode:

Survival mode involves being in a constant state of stress. Your brain and body shift into autopilot, and you do whatever it takes to get through the crisis or major life event you're experiencing. This shift can happen subconsciously or consciously because your brain and body try to feel safe even when you don't realize it. Growing up in foster care caused me to be on high alert at all times. I was constantly waiting for something terrible to happen. No matter my situation, I hoped for the best and prepared for the worst. It was exhausting living my life waiting for the next shoe to drop.
Sure, this mindset helped me navigate challenging times, but it took away from me being able to live in the moment and appreciate the good in my life I was experiencing. Oftentimes, I felt like the good times wouldn't last, and it was better to prepare myself for when things would go bad. This fear led me to not appreciate life's happy moments and live in a constant state of survival. I couldn't even think about my future because the present felt urgent and pressing as if nothing else mattered.

Breaking the Cycle:

Breaking the cycle of survival mode takes time. You have to figure out what works best for you, but it's well worth it. Without learning ways to get unstuck, I wouldn't have realized the importance of the present moment and my future. Life is about more than solely surviving. You deserve a life where you feel safe, happy, and supported. You deserve room to grow and flourish. You deserve happiness and feel like you're not stuck waiting for the next thing to go wrong. You deserve to know the person you are with and without the challenges you've faced. Breaking the cycle didn't happen overnight for me; it was a constant work in progress.

How to Thrive:

  • Recognizing: It wasn't until I realized I was living in survival mode that I could tackle and break the cycle. I asked myself a series of questions. Do I feel like I'm really living? Am I constantly assessing situations around me and looking for challenges that could arise? How often do I feel on edge or anxious? How often do I think about my future? Do I think about my future at all? Am I present in my life, or do I do my best to push through each day? From that point, I realized that I was living in survival mode. 
  • Self-Care: The next step I took was establishing a self-care routine. I made sure this was my next step because I knew breaking the cycle of survival had the potential to be mentally exhausting. I wanted to have an established routine not only for when challenges came up but to incorporate in those moments when survival mode tried to work its way back into my life.
  • Challenge your thoughts: Survival mode makes you think that things can't get better. That your current state of living is as good as it gets. Don't be afraid to challenge these negative thoughts and remind yourself that you're in control of your future and that things can continually improve. Positive affirmations were essential in the process of breaking the cycle. These phrases helped me shift my mindset toward my strengths and capabilities. Through repeating these mantras daily, I started to believe I could control my destiny and do anything I set my mind to.
  • Set Goals: Your goals don't have to be big or elaborate; they can be as small as getting outside, connecting with nature, reading a new book, or learning something new. Try to stay present and take things one day at a time. A great way to practice being present is through mindfulness.
  • Connect with Others: Lean on those around you for support when challenges arise, or you feel yourself slipping back into survival mode.

Breaking the cycle of survival mode won't make you forget the challenges you've faced, but it will help you grow with those challenges instead of holding you back. Remember to be gentle with yourself and that breaking the cycle takes time.

Other Resources:

 

About the Author:
Kat works in healthcare and advocacy. As a former youth with lived experience, one of her biggest goals is to uplift youth voices within the child welfare system and influence policy to reflect better outcomes for youth in care. Her passions surround everything related to the art of storytelling.