Healthy Relationships: Ways to Stop Ghosting People

I wish I had known back then that I didn't have to immediately cut people out of my life when things got tough. Instead, I could have worked through the situation and communicated my feelings in a healthy way. Ghosting or shutting people out may be a defense mechanism for those of us who have been hurt in the past, and it can also prevent us from building meaningful relationships and resolving conflicts in a productive manner. Looking back, I regret the people I've lost due to ghosting, and I now realize the importance of open and honest communication to maintain healthy relationships. I've learned that it's better to confront issues rather than avoid them and potentially cause more harm in the long run.

Relationships require effort, and it is up to each of us to contribute to their success. Despite not always having positive role models, we must strive to be the best versions of ourselves in relationships. As individuals who have been in care, we may not have been taught the important skills of maintaining and repairing relationships, but it is crucial to learn how to navigate conflict in relationships, instead of resorting to avoiding or cutting off communication. As someone who has experienced rejection, abandonment, and abuse, I understand the temptation to protect oneself from further pain by withdrawing from others. However, this approach is not a healthy or effective way to handle conflicts. It wasn’t until I was surrounded by determined individuals who refused to give up on me that I began to learn the valuable skills necessary for navigating conflicts in relationships.

Here are eight essential tips for overcoming conflict in relationships:

1. Take a breath and step back: In the heat of an intense conversation or argument, it's crucial to take a moment to pause and collect your thoughts.
    
2. Focus on the positives: When tensions rise, try to recall everything you admire and love about the other person.
    
3. Understand different perspectives: Strive to listen and empathize with the other person's point of view.
    
4. Reflect on your actions: Evaluate how you handled the situation and take responsibility for any mistakes.
    
5. Embrace constructive criticism: Be open to receiving feedback, even if it may be difficult to hear.
    
6. Move past the issue: After resolving the conflict, make a conscious effort to let go of negative feelings.
    
7. Use “I” statements: Communicate your feelings without placing blame, such as “I felt hurt when you said that.”
    
8. Take ownership: Be willing to apologize and take ownership of your actions when necessary.

By implementing these strategies, we can foster healthy conflict resolution in our relationships instead of resorting to avoidance.

Moving forward, I hope to handle conflict in a more mature, effective way and learn from my past mistakes instead of resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

 

About the Author

Desiree Moore is a passionate former foster care alumni who is dedicated to writing about topics that are relevant to young people in foster care. She is currently studying psychology in order to help those who have experienced childhood trauma to heal and develop healthy relationships with themselves and others.