Mentoring: I am Here for You

The most powerful phrase a person can hear contains five simple words: I am here for you.  Whether navigating a challenge, searching for advice or making a major life change, these words are at the heart of what it means to be a mentor.

Having a mentor can be life-changing, but what is a mentor? Mentors are good listeners and they make themselves available. They encourage youth.  They advocate. They cheer youth on. A good mentor gives youth a sense of belonging and partners with them on their journey. For youth who are placed in the foster care system, a mentor can be the most important factor in exploring and achieving their goals. 

Who are mentors? Mentors can begin as formal and informal relationships and supports. They can be from relationships that naturally occur in a youth’s life such as relatives, friends of their family, teachers, coaches, and community members. Mentors can also be caseworkers, former foster parents, or staff at a youth’s former placement. It is important for youth to be supported in reflecting on their relationships and identifying those that could serve as a mentor. 

Kendall, age 20, says of his mentoring experience, “I didn't know much about a mentor but knew I wanted one. I was matched with a cool, laid-back brother named Jermaine. We instantly connected, mainly because I'm a laid-back brother as well. Jermaine and I have known each other for eight years now, and I consider him part of my support system. My other mentor, Coach Walter, is still by my side.”  Kendall credits Coach Walter with helping him find ways of expressing and managing his emotions and his Aunt Mary with being “one of my biggest cheerleaders”.

Kita Anderson, while speaking at a foster parent banquet in 2009, credits the foster parents she met at her first placement with being lifelong mentors that were there to support her through a failed adoption, multiple placements, and Kita’s group home experience. Kita shares that they became her closest relationship and describes their support: “When I was stressing about finals, I called to get some studying tips. When I had roommate or friend trouble, I called them to vent and get advice. When my birth mother was in a hospice in Colorado, they flew me out to say goodbye”.

Child welfare agencies strive to support youth to grow multiple assets and connections that include mentors and adult resources. Making these connections early in adolescence is a key component to a youth’s successful transition to adulthood. Opportunities for youth to be connected to mentors and to create youth/adult partnerships is integral to permanency.

The Professional Development Program (PDP) offers several training opportunities that explore supporting youth in identifying and growing mentor and adult resource relationships that support permanency and a successful transition to adulthood.  Check out these trainings to learn more: Promoting Positive Youth Development and Well-Being, Permanency Options for Youth in Care, Preparing Youth in Care for the College Experience, Preparing Youth for Employment.