Overcoming Misconceptions

 

Reflecting on my experiences after aging out of foster care many years ago, I realize there were numerous misconceptions I held when I was younger. Here are some of the most significant lessons I’ve learned over time: 

1. Independence vs. Community: I used to believe I had to do everything on my own and didn’t need anyone. While independence is important, I've learned that it's okay to rely on others. Some people love and want to navigate life with me. 

2. Healing from Trauma: Leaving foster care doesn't mean leaving your trauma behind. We still have to face and work through our trauma, often with the help of therapy or supportive loved ones. 

3. Pursuing Dreams: Foster care might delay or alter your dreams, but it doesn't make them impossible. Success is still within reach. 

4. Sharing Your Story: I once thought that if people knew my background, they wouldn't want to be connected with me. In reality, many people are accepting and even inspired by the resilience shown in overcoming such challenges. 

5. Building Healthy Relationships: Despite the challenges of foster care, it's possible to have healthy relationships. It requires effort, but through community and personal growth, we can learn how to build and maintain these connections. 

6. Lifelong Learning: Missing out on certain lessons in childhood can make us feel like it's too late to learn. However, it’s never too late to grow and acquire new skills or knowledge. 

7. Relationships with Biological Family: Being in foster care doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t have relationships with your biological family. If they are healthy and willing, these connections can still be nurtured. 

8. Family and Foster Care: Not everyone in foster care is without family. Many of us have relatives who care for us, even if they aren't our primary caregivers. 

9. Deserving Good Things: Being in foster care doesn't exclude you from good things in life. You are worthy of love, success, and happiness. 

10. Embracement: We don't have to feel embarrassed about our stories of our past. 

These lessons have helped shape who I am today and continue to guide me as I navigate life beyond foster care. 

 

About the Author 

Desiree is a passionate former foster care alumni who is dedicated to writing about topics that are relevant to young people in foster care. She is currently studying psychology to help those who have experienced childhood trauma to heal and develop healthy relationships with themselves and others.