Self-Advocacy: A Skill We Shouldn't Overlook

Let’s be honest: It’s so much easier to advocate for others than it is to advocate for ourselves. For example, one time, my friend and I were ordering food and she didn’t get the drink she ordered, so, naturally, I spoke to the staff for her and asked for the correct drink. Meanwhile, my vegetarian meal came with… beef, and guess what I did? Absolutely nothing. I was too nervous to go back and speak up for myself even though I knew in my mind the staff would have no problem correcting my order.

Not speaking up for yourself goes beyond just ordering food. Most youth, especially youth in care, have to advocate for themselves at every step of their lives. For youth in care, the Child Welfare system is incredibly complex and may seem impossible to navigate. For example, a youth might struggle finding adequate healthcare if they want therapy or treatment for substance abuse. Youth who are transitioning out of care might be afraid of what will come next and who they will turn to for support once out of care. While resources do exist, it isn’t easy navigating which one is most suitable for your needs. The first step in this road is finding out exactly what it is you need so that you have a clearer understanding of what your end goal is. For some, that need could be access to healthcare services or a housing program. The next step is often the most difficult for some and that is asking for help. No one expects young people to navigate life on their own and, contrary to what our thoughts might tell us sometimes, asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak or that you’ve failed in life.

The first time I can remember advocating for myself is when I had to find a runaway and homeless youth shelter and ask for help. I had no idea how shelters operated or what the process was like; all I knew was that I needed a place to live. Asking for help might not seem like self-advocacy, but it is. You are changing your situation by reaching out to people who know how to help like reaching out to a support system.

I have been advocating for myself since I first called the shelter and didn’t even realize it until someone close to me told me I was. I managed to find my way into a shelter and then I made a list of what my needs were along with my caseworker (another example of advocating). Sometimes, asking for help is hard because you don’t know what you need help with. I knew that I wanted to continue my college education so we came up with a plan that would help me stay in college. While I had the help of my caseworker, the most qualified person who could help me with financial aid is obviously someone from my school’s financial aid department. It’s important to be able to find people who are experts in the area you need help in so you know you’re getting the most qualified advice. I knew I wasn’t going to receive proper help over the phone, so I went in person to advocate for my needs. The process of applying for aid is so incredibly frustrating for youth in care because the federal application often requires a parent’s tax forms which many of us may not have access to. I, for one, did not and at first I thought I would be barred from any financial aid. That was a scary feeling because continuing my education while having a place to live on campus was one of my most pressing needs. It wasn’t until I went in person that I was informed I could simply apply as an independent student if I provide a letter from my caseworker. For those of you who may not know, applying as an independent student means you receive no support from your parents and, therefore, do not need to submit their tax information. As a bonus, you’re even qualified to receive more financial aid than you normally would! If I hadn’t decided to go to the financial aid office to ask for help, I probably wouldn’t have known about this and would’ve struggled to pay for college and housing.

Self-advocacy, just like any other skill, needs to be developed and practiced. There are many resources on the internet that can help us learn more about self-advocacy and how to develop those skills.

For more information, resources, and activities visit: https://www.parentcenterhub.org/priority-selfadvocacy/#youth

About the author:
Parvin Puarwal was an intern for the Office of Children and Family Services