The Importance of Having Healthy Adults in Your Life

Having adults in your life is important, but what is even more crucial is having healthy adults in your life. These people positively impact your life, teach you different perspectives, and show you various ways to handle situations and navigate life. Sometimes, when we are in foster care, we experience trauma and seek to connect with people from similar backgrounds. However, as you grow, you will recognize the significance of having people who have walked diverse paths in life.

When I was younger and in care, I wanted to be independent and didn't feel the need to include others in my life. I was very surface level with everyone and wouldn’t share my concerns, battles, or ideas. As I began my healing journey, I realized it wasn't that I wanted to be independent; I felt I couldn't rely on others. I often felt unsafe around adults. Through healing, I learned that not everyone is unsafe and that I didn't have healthy adults to positively influence my life growing up.

Healing taught me the importance of having healthy relationships. Some of the greatest lessons were:

Financial: I was in debt for a few years because I knew very little about credit cards. However, through a healthy relationship, a chosen family member taught me about the importance of paying off your credit, not building debt, and maintaining good credit health. For those in foster care, keeping finances in order is crucial, as we may not have a family to co-sign to purchase a car or rent an apartment.

Conflict Resolution: This is still something I am learning at 35, but in healthy relationships, you learn how to manage and handle conflicts. You also learn different styles of communication and various ways to handle situations.

Bounce Ideas: We all think our ideas are great but discussing them with others helps us think things through. When I was younger, I could be impulsive.

Wisdom: Being surrounded by healthy adults who have experienced much of life provides valuable insight and helps us learn. Their experiences and knowledge can teach us important lessons and offer guidance.

Learning from Mistakes: Healthy adults give you space to make mistakes and learn from them.

Developing Character: When we build trust with an adult, they can help us build character through honesty, correction, and teaching, where needed.

 

About the Author:
Desiree is a passionate former foster care alumni who is dedicated to writing about topics that are relevant to young people in foster care. She is currently studying psychology to help those who have experienced childhood trauma to heal and develop healthy relationships with themselves and others.